Monday, March 28, 2011

Falling Down Hole

This is one of my favorite stories:
Portia Nelson
Chapter I
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost... I am hopeless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
Chapter II
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in this same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
Chapter III
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it there.
I still fall in... it's a habit... but,
my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
Chapter IV
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
Chapter V
I walk down a different street.

Saturday, March 26, 2011


I know just about everyone is way past finished talking about Charlie Sheen. But I have to go on record saying I feel for the guy. In my humble, non-expert opinion he is very ill. Listening to his ramblings and seeing him on TV it became obvious that he is caught up in delusion and grandious thinking, two major symptoms of bipolar disorder. His physical appearance, especially, points to drug and alcohol withdrawals at the very least. His excessive drug and alcohol use may have even triggered his mania. Or he's been self-medicating his mental illness for sometime. Maybe both. I do pray he gets the proper help and medication before he hurts himself and others. I'm relieved that most talk show hosts have stopped taking pot shots at him. I hope the media aftermath will include a serious discussion about mental illness and bipolar disorder in specific.

Monday, March 21, 2011


In 1990, I had a bipolar episode that nearly took my life. I wrote a short memoir LADIES OF KILO to better understand what happened to me. My experience is now avaliable as an E-book. To purchase and download the book, please go to Go to ebooks and search LADIES OF KILO. It will come out in paperback in about three months depending on how well the E-book does.

My purpose for sharing this very personal experience is to help reduce the stigma and prejudice surrounding mental illness. I am interested in feedback and comments from anyone who reads the book. I am now working on a longer book detailing my two-month stay in the mental hospital and inpatient care.

I hope LADIES OF KILO helps people who suffer from bipolar disorder or other mental illness to realize YOU ARE NOT ALONE, your condition can be treated and your life can improve.

Thanks to all my fiends and family who have supported me since my diagnosis two years ago.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Bipolar Taoist

When the floor came up to hit me in the head, I was completely delusional and more interested in technical marks for my swan dive than my landing. I survived. And now I am immersing myself in the symptoms, causes and treatment of bipolar disorder.